Summer is upon us. Instead of going outside, soaking up the sun, and enjoying yourself; you should stay inside, listen to The Frogs, and watch Toy Porno. If you aren’t nuts about The Frogs, that’s a problem. You need to go pick up a copy of It’s Only Right And Natural right now. I know I’ve probably not established that ethos well enough with any of you Cvlt readers to say this and have any credibility at all, but I am completely adamant over the inarguable fact that The Frogs are the greatest rock band… in the world. They’re a duo of two Wisconsin brothers, Jimmy and Dennis Flemion, famous for kickass performances– where they would be adorned in crazy wigs, black face, and gigantic sparkling wings. They are as goofy, nonsensical, and utterly ridiculous as they are serious, satirical, and absolutely brilliant. The lyrical content of their discography spreads over a plethora of engaging topics such as gay sex, catchin’ the aids, devil cocks, slavery in the US, the sexuality of God, grunge in Seattle, rape, dying in car crashes, having drugs that will blow yer mind, and pretty much anything else that would probably make most grandmothers really uncomfortable. For a lot of people it just comes off as ” just joke music,” but I’m sure there are plenty of you out there that fully appreciate just how awesome The Frogs are, jokes or not. And if you haven’t had a chance to check them out prior to reading this, Froggin’ it up now will probably be the best life decision you will ever make. Don’t go back to school. Don’t move out of yer ma’s basement. Don’t get a job. If doing any of those things are going to somehow cause you to continue keeping The Frogs out of your existence, then just don’t.
After becoming well versed in the gospel of Frogs, I learned that many of the clips of live performances I loved all happened to be apart of a two hour and thirty minute long DIY art film. After discovering this, I went on a mad internet quest to find the clips together in their entirety. This is what I found:
The flick is called Toy Porno. The Frogs put it together as a gift for Kurt Cobain in 1993. This bizarre blend of child’s play, pornography, and rock n’ roll is one of the strangest and most amazing things I have ever watched on a screen. Toy adventures, like the one in the clip above, are split up by various live performances, and other weird home videos. Toy Porno really has it all. I mean, there are glorious visions of the Flemion brothers in tragically 80s track shorts and fucking Prince covers at punk gigs, for god’s sake!
If you watch it and find yourself thinking, “man, I wish I had all of the Toy Porno songs on my music playing devices,” no worries! The Frogs self-released a soundtrack CD for Toy P; all you have to do is find The Sad Bits and More Sad Bits. At one point there had been some talk of releasing a Toy P DVD, but nothing ever came from it. Sadly, I doubt the birth of a DVD release will ever come–especially after Dennis Flemion’s untimely death last year. That being said, I’m sure you internet warriors can figure out how to find the movie, and its soundtrack, on the web using whatever it is you use.
Ditch all your plans and responsibilities. Get weird to The Frogs and go to heck!
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