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80s Hardcore

Nuke Cult: Join Or Don’t

“The Nuke Cult is a vicious gang of criminals. Most members are hooked on the highly addictive and dangerous drug Nuke. The leader of the cult is the superbly insane and deluded Cain. Their hideout is Sludge Plant.”

That description is actually of the villains from ‘RoboCop 2’, but it more or less applies to the cretinous band of thugs responsible for this morally questionable demo tape, Join Or Don’t. Everything about this release is so perfectly apathetic and ramshackle. The production quality is so, so cheap and raw that the oh-so-familiar burst of feedback that screechingly heralds the beginning of virtually every punk/hardcore release in existence sounds closer to a fucking kazoo, and actually triggers the same reaction that burst of feedback probably did when it first snuck its way into recorded music, before years of familiarity consigned it to the friend zone. It shocks you awake and tells you that you’re about to hear something truly, disgustingly punk rock. The ensuing guitar buzzes less like a chainsaw than a circular saw accidentally left on in a garage, careening its way through whatever material happens to be lying around, driven by an impulse of purposeless destruction and absolutely no regard for its own well-being or common decency. Surprisingly, the riffs it churns out are actually catchy as hell, but think less pop song and more urinary infection.


Finally, the vocals are spat, puked and sneered with venomous abandon, like a Johnny Rotten who grew up listening to Johnny Rotten instead of whatever music the actual Johnny Rotten grew up listening to. This singer sounds like he can’t even muster up the interest or sense of backwards respect for something needed to express antipathy towards it, and that cuts so much harder. Even the name of the cassette itself mixes punk’s confrontational vehemence with a non-committal carelessness. Join! …or don’t.

With all its pissy, snotty petulance, the music on Join Or Don’t actually manages to come off as seriously menacing, the way a doped up junkie can seem at the same time docile and harmless and also completely unpredictable. Nuke Cult sound like they don’t even give enough fucks to say that they don’t give a fuck… but they may murder you. So join the Nuke Cult, or don’t.



  1. weeniehutjr

    October 6, 2013 at 10:56 am

    A bunch of former screamo kids who shaved their heads when they heard Culo. This band is embarrassingly awful. I can’t believe people are fooled by this.

  2. UncontrolledSubstince

    October 5, 2013 at 3:11 am

    lolol Culo Jr.

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