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The Mysterious Atacama Skeleton

In 2003, mummified remains of a thirteen centimeter humanoid being were discovered in the Atacama Desert of Chile. Not until recently was the specimen professionally examined. A team of experts at Stanford University was assembled to take DNA samples, X-Rays and CAT scans. First and foremost, the tests undoubtedly confirmed that the organism is real and not a hoax. The skeleton only has ten ribs, rather than the normal twelve. This is something that has never been found in humans. The skull is unusually shaped and much larger proportionately than that of humans. Speculation that the skeleton could have been an unborn fetus was disproved. The bones are well developed and a mature tooth can be seen. It has been concluded that the humanoid’s appearance is not the result of any known deformity, genetic defect, skeletal dysplasia or any other known human abnormality. The most shocking conclusion to date is that the humanoid lived to be six to eight years of age. This was assessed by examining the epiphyseal plates in the knees and comparing these to normal humans of various ages. This naturally raises the question, “If the being was human, how would it have been able to survive six to eight years in a remote desert at only thirteen centimeters tall?”

Another missing piece of the puzzle lies within the skeleton’s DNA. The genome sequencing showed that nine percent of the genes did not match with the reference human genome. This may be due to various factors, but it is interesting when you consider that humans are 99.5% genetically identical to Neanderthals and 96-98% identical to Chimpanzees. One last fact to ponder is that scientists have recently found that DNA has been around for over ten billion years, but Earth has not even existed for half that time.

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27 Comments

27 Comments

  1. Bryce Miller

    June 27, 2014 at 7:31 am

    “One last fact to ponder is that scientists have recently found that DNA has been around for over ten billion years, but Earth has not even existed for half that time.”

    wut?

  2. Sammy El Mariachi

    June 27, 2014 at 2:00 am

    Sandeep Khera

  3. Danny Byrne

    June 26, 2014 at 2:21 pm

    Sirius, good doc. Good people.

  4. Duncan Brodie

    June 26, 2014 at 12:09 pm

    Haha. Sirius. Man that guy is so stupid

  5. Aaron Pepelis

    June 26, 2014 at 11:54 am

    The specimens’ ages and degrees of DNA degradation were compared and the researchers calculated that DNA has a half-life of 521 years. At an ideal preservation temperature of −5 ºC, every bond in DNA would be destroyed after 6.8 million years.

  6. Clayton Eagle

    June 26, 2014 at 8:46 am

    Fake shit

  7. Clayton Eagle

    June 26, 2014 at 8:46 am

    Fake shit

  8. Gisela Garcia

    June 26, 2014 at 7:10 am

    Jose Hernandez gnomies!!?

  9. Gisela Garcia

    June 26, 2014 at 7:10 am

    Jose Hernandez gnomies!!?

  10. Gisela Garcia

    June 26, 2014 at 7:10 am

    Jose Hernandez gnomies!!?

  11. Lita GoreBlasphemy

    June 26, 2014 at 6:33 am

    Uuuhh yo vivo cerca del supuesto hallazgo … Nunca se supo mas alla de lo superficial

  12. Lita GoreBlasphemy

    June 26, 2014 at 6:33 am

    Uuuhh yo vivo cerca del supuesto hallazgo … Nunca se supo mas alla de lo superficial

  13. Lita GoreBlasphemy

    June 26, 2014 at 6:33 am

    Uuuhh yo vivo cerca del supuesto hallazgo … Nunca se supo mas alla de lo superficial

  14. Bruce Venida

    June 26, 2014 at 6:14 am

    Paul AJ !!!

  15. Bruce Venida

    June 26, 2014 at 6:14 am

    Paul AJ !!!

  16. Bruce Venida

    June 26, 2014 at 6:14 am

    Paul AJ !!!

  17. Raúl García

    June 26, 2014 at 6:12 am

    Proved it’s just an old deformed and momified baby

  18. Raúl García

    June 26, 2014 at 6:12 am

    Proved it’s just an old deformed and momified baby

  19. Raúl García

    June 26, 2014 at 6:12 am

    Proved it’s just an old deformed and momified baby

  20. Denny Lee

    June 26, 2014 at 3:18 am

    Watch the doco Sirius and I think you’ll find a few reasons to lend this some credence…true scientific credence.

  21. Enzo Luciano

    June 26, 2014 at 3:05 am

    all aboard the nopetrain

  22. Nicolas d'Offay

    June 26, 2014 at 2:57 am

    Anyone who lends this article any credence is in serious need of a mental health evaluation.

  23. Danny Summers

    June 26, 2014 at 2:44 am

    Has the Bush forehead.

  24. Iron Irja

    June 26, 2014 at 2:40 am

    beavis or butthead?

  25. Matt Henley

    June 26, 2014 at 2:28 am

    Hot as fuck

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