The other day, I wrote on Twitter that RedEye knows DICK about periods. I was really annoyed because I was on a total rampage and it was like, Duh! I’m on my period, dude. It’s a get out of jail free card. At least, it should be.
I’m torn on the whole “period” thing because for the longest time I insisted that I didn’t suffer from PMS or any menstrual symptoms. There is nothing more aggravating than when some dude dismisses you because you’re on the rag. But THEN I started getting really insane cramps. Cramps that make you want to KILL, and even five million Advil won’t smother them.
Sure, it’s shitty when guys blame EVERYTHING on PMS. But it’s kind of awesome, too, because it means you can pass the buck.
Ginger Snaps is all about periods. Remember when getting your period was the worst thing EVER? We called it “the curse.” I cried because I couldn’t believe I had to deal with this shit for the REST OF MY LIFE (at least, the rest of my young, fertile life, before my womb curls up and crumbles away like a sunlit vampire).
Everything about periods is made out to be disgusting and foul. And you have to feel filthy for having it. Like when the nurse refers to period blood as “brownish-black sludge.” But actually? It’s fucking awesome. It’s BLOODY. It’s raw. It’s fucking metal. And dudes are scared of it, which makes it even MORE amazing.
Ginger transforms not into a werewolf, but into a woman. Not in that cheesy ’90s Women Who Run with the Wolves way. (I think I would have accepted my period a lot earlier if my hippy parents hadn’t made me read Our Bodies, Ourselves.) No. She turns into a sexy dick-murdering banshee.
If you’re going to do it in high school (which you should, because the only other reason to go to high school is to score drugs), you will be called a slut. You will be called names and people will hate you. So you might as well make it worthwhile. Make your mark, like Ginger does. She rips that jock to shreds, giving him a night he’ll never forget. And she leaves him with a social disease. Fucking hardcore.
Guys have told me I kiss too hard. Maybe they’re afraid I’m going to murder them. But what is sex without a little death? BORING.
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LabRats
November 13, 2013 at 11:43 pm
I am all about the excuses! Plus its better than blaming everything on explosive diarrhea (which no one would question either). I haven’t heard anyone but myself refer to my severe bitchyness because I’m the only one who notices. Stress is probably the ONLY reason why people would notice because thats what stress does. It saunters around all day masquerading as PMS.
CookieJr
November 18, 2013 at 9:48 am
if you have never had ANYONE tell you you’re being a total bitch, you are one lucky chick 😉