Self proclaimed practitioners of “sigil grind demon beat punk metal”, Dislich list their interests as occultism, Dungeons and Dragons, cryptozoology, renaissance magic, teen witches, cocaine, and VHS, among others, and that is actually a better indicator of their sound than you’d at first suspect.
Stone Guardian sounds like a bunch of coked out D&D lifers summoning the spirits of ancient warlocks and their childhood’s favourite heavy metal majesties through the power of rock’n’roll, around a campfire built out of smouldering B-grade horror videotapes. Some of the best song titles you’ve heard in a long time, ‘God-Sized Hole In Hell’, ‘Nausea Creeps’ and ‘Withering Cunt’ lay claim to some of the most visceral, thrashy punk you’ll hear for a long time, all overlaid with Melissa Finley’s inhuman, demonic shrieks, that let you know that the spirit summoning must be going well.
Dislich thrash and snarl their way through track after track of furious, animalistic hardcore, but these guys can really play, and they inevitably rear their inner metalheads with almost every track turning into a full-on rocking, classic metal burner by song’s end. The drums slow, the bass grooves and the guitars shred. Six-stringers Solomon Reid and Joseph Guerra have serious chops, but even more impressively they have the same firm grasp on melody, pacing and composition that made the solos of classic metallers like Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, and hell, even Guns N’ Roses, so much more than just fretboard wankery.
On paper a mash-up of power violence and classic rock probably sounds fucking horrible, and it was a genuine surprise listening to first track ‘God-Sized Hole In Hell’ when the tempo dropped and that first dive bomb squealed its way in straight from 1986, but it was definitely a welcome one, and it works fucking perfectly. Maybe all the talk of black magic and occult witchery is genuine, because only help from other realms could take sounds so disparate as dirty punk rock, grindcore, classic rock, classic metal, black metal, and even a few moments bordering on fucking Korn (I shit you not), and mix them together to create something that sounds so good.
Stone Guardian is dirty, catchy fun that makes you want to throw on your favourite ageing, ratty Maiden shirt and take a boombox into the forest to blast old punk rock tunes to the goat lords while you sacrifice virgins and do your best Robert Englund impression.
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