Since we began this blog, there’s been speculation that we had big corporate backing for CVLT Nation, which is blatantly untrue, until now that is. After 4 years of struggling to keep this blog going, our long days and meager meals have paid off, literally! After last week’s interview we did with Kim Kelly for NOISEY, I guess we had the heads of VICE Media, Inc. talking, because yesterday we reached an agreement to sell CVLT Nation to VICE for $25 million! There will be a few changes to the site, of course, but it will all be the same “hipster metal” content you’ve grown to love and hate. Instead of Sean and I putting up the majority of the posts, VICE has their own staff of 20-something cool people who will now be developing all the the site’s content, and they will pay much closer attention to your “likes and dislikes” than we ever did. Apparently, there is huge potential in what we are doing with CVLT Nation, but we needed to focus more on “maximizing” our audience and not so much on posting the shit we are personally into. Big thanks to all our writers, but VICE is most likely going to replace all of you with people who live in Williamsburg. Also – the site will no longer be known as “CVLT Nation,” it will now be called VICE Nation. As of next week, Sean and I are taking the money, hiring a couple of nannies (one per kid) and going on an extended holiday in the Virgin Islands. During this holiday, we will only listen to Drake, Nicki Minaj and Kanye, since we don’t have to pretend to be into underground metal anymore. In fact, I think we can all safely assume that “underground metal” won’t exist for long, thanks to corporate interest!
Mike Neuhaus
April 2, 2015 at 9:25 am
best april fools is best
Tyler David Kirk
April 2, 2015 at 1:45 am
Spaghett
Tyler David Kirk
April 2, 2015 at 1:45 am
Fooled me.
Mrrc Oer
April 1, 2015 at 11:08 pm
Nice one
Raja Gul Mawaz- Khan
April 1, 2015 at 9:40 pm
Damn. Got me…
Nikos Alexoudis
April 1, 2015 at 3:27 pm
So dumb ov me to fell for something like that
Anton Em
April 1, 2015 at 2:05 pm
*Slow clap*
Erin Jardine
April 1, 2015 at 11:21 am
Fell for this so hard. So embarassing.
Guillaume Lavoie
April 1, 2015 at 11:02 am
YOU BASTERDS
Κλαιν Μαιν
April 1, 2015 at 10:58 am
Lol
Andy Garita
April 1, 2015 at 10:38 am
no more hipster metal 🙁
Derek Charles Blunt
April 1, 2015 at 10:36 am
Haha funny. To be fair though, a large bulk of Cvlt Nation articles could have been on Vice and vice versa (hehe), and no one would have batted an eye.
Ben Heiselt
April 1, 2015 at 9:57 am
Whoa! That was terrifying. Good one guys I think I’ll go listen to nicki minaj now.
Steven Siciliano
April 1, 2015 at 8:59 am
i won’t lie…. you had me there for a bit. whew.
Andrew Bankman
April 1, 2015 at 8:49 am
That’s not funny, that’s terrifying.
Jake Abassi
April 1, 2015 at 8:45 am
APRIL FOOLS!!!!
Shannon Bain
April 1, 2015 at 8:42 am
brilliant
Vi Wo
April 1, 2015 at 8:38 am
almost had a heart attack ……
Lauren Gargano
April 1, 2015 at 8:16 am
Ha, ha, ha. Veryyyy funny.
Mary All Lambs
April 1, 2015 at 8:14 am
Mattia Alagna
April 1, 2015 at 8:14 am
haha <3 u
Adam Schulte
April 1, 2015 at 7:43 am
Dammit. Dammit dammit dammit. Ha, well played
Daniel Ardiano Sipos Convery
April 1, 2015 at 7:23 am
Cvlt Nation at the Sausage Castle, can’t wait.
Robert Black
April 1, 2015 at 7:08 am
Joey Lummox
April 1, 2015 at 7:07 am
April fools! Funny stuff though.
Joshua R. Banks
April 1, 2015 at 7:01 am
Lol. I want to beat vice to death.
Andrés Felipe Uribe Cárdenas
April 1, 2015 at 6:54 am
…. ough
Dominic Blyth
April 1, 2015 at 6:44 am
Cunts
Jesse Balinong
April 1, 2015 at 6:39 am
You tried it.
str8jacketx
April 1, 2015 at 6:29 am
April first?
Bobby Humbert
April 1, 2015 at 6:25 am
Hilarious!!!!
Maddie Rehayem
April 1, 2015 at 6:24 am
Heheh
Santiago Montoya Ordóñez
April 1, 2015 at 6:23 am
Damn I almost..
Brandon Arnold
April 1, 2015 at 5:56 am
Ha
Thomas Campbell
April 1, 2015 at 5:55 am
Almost had me.
Clinton Ist Kreig Homuth
April 1, 2015 at 5:48 am
For a second I believed
Matt Carrington
April 1, 2015 at 5:28 am
well played
Alexander Argento
April 1, 2015 at 5:26 am
almost
Martin Amoedo
April 1, 2015 at 5:24 am
Almost!
Tim McGarey
April 1, 2015 at 5:22 am
Too fucking real.
Klaus Kaczynski
April 1, 2015 at 5:02 am
CVNTS
Garret David
April 1, 2015 at 4:50 am
Hehehehe her
Oliver Sheppard
April 1, 2015 at 4:46 am
Lol
Jordan Reyes
April 1, 2015 at 4:36 am
Oh man – this got me so bad!
Cephalic Kromholtz
April 1, 2015 at 4:17 am
Sweet! Good shit.
Nigel Calder
April 1, 2015 at 4:12 am
Ha.
Michael Paschendale
April 1, 2015 at 3:52 am
You silly bastards.
Pat Miller
April 1, 2015 at 3:44 am
i cant lie, you guys got me. thank you bottle of whiskey at 5 am
Adam Asher
April 1, 2015 at 3:43 am
You had me until you mentioned how much it was bought for
Ian G. Smith
April 1, 2015 at 3:38 am
Happy April Fools!
Josiah Bartlett
April 1, 2015 at 3:16 am
Lol
Davi Bruno
April 1, 2015 at 3:05 am
Huahuahua
Bobby Hilliard
April 1, 2015 at 3:00 am
Torben Utecht
April 1, 2015 at 2:23 am
Haha, you got me!
T Garrett O'Sha
April 1, 2015 at 2:20 am
Haha good one
Krys Dołęga
April 1, 2015 at 2:14 am
Good one!
Alberto Vespignani
April 1, 2015 at 2:05 am
Mike Davies
April 1, 2015 at 2:05 am
lol
Cécile Ash
April 1, 2015 at 1:33 am
Subtile critic. Cool :D!
Joseph Breikers
April 1, 2015 at 1:19 am
RVINED…
Cornman
April 1, 2015 at 1:15 am
HAHAH funny joke bitch
Boat Driver
April 1, 2015 at 1:14 am
It’s about fucking time…
Spector Joel
April 1, 2015 at 1:09 am
i love lamp
David Sheldrick
April 1, 2015 at 1:02 am
This sux
Djake
April 1, 2015 at 1:01 am
I was convinced until the holiday part, I could somewhat see vice being involved with Cvlt Nation, good April fools. Had me for a sec.
Michelle Ryan
April 1, 2015 at 12:58 am
Had me fooled for 3 seconds and read ‘hipster metal’. But you are worth $25 million!
Filip Johannesson
April 1, 2015 at 12:55 am
lmfao
Christian Segerstrom
April 1, 2015 at 12:54 am
Billy Cunningham
April 1, 2015 at 12:50 am
LOL
Oliver Woodhouse
April 1, 2015 at 12:43 am
Classic haha
Cosmic Collins
April 1, 2015 at 12:39 am
haha
Giovanni Infantino
April 1, 2015 at 12:38 am
april foolz
Yagi Olaguera
April 1, 2015 at 12:36 am
Hahaha.
Dallas Hunter Van Winkle
April 1, 2015 at 12:33 am
lol. I was like. . Cool, good for you guys i guess.
Wilhelm Princeton
April 1, 2015 at 12:30 am
VICE wishes.
Nico Martinez
April 1, 2015 at 12:29 am
are they gonna start posting click bait on here all day like they do on their page i hope not
Jess Duvall
April 1, 2015 at 12:28 am
Whew. Forgot what day it was
Aaron Boone
April 1, 2015 at 12:28 am
Was about to go off my tits with rage until I spotted the date. Too early in the day for this shit.
Nyarlothotep Palmer
April 1, 2015 at 12:27 am
Hahahaha
Cory Wiegert
April 1, 2015 at 12:26 am
Oh I Get it… FRENCH CLASS!
Stefano Gritti
April 1, 2015 at 12:24 am
First of april…
Nyarlothotep Palmer
April 1, 2015 at 12:19 am
That’s that fucked then
Eric Sellers
April 1, 2015 at 12:18 am
Trad Nathan
April 1, 2015 at 12:17 am
Dave is this your doing also?
Chase Dobson
April 1, 2015 at 12:17 am
Ryan Connor
April 1, 2015 at 12:15 am
Vice is legit. We live in a corporate world. Break it down from the inside out and SHUT THE FUCK UP
Christian Vittrup
April 1, 2015 at 12:14 am
For a horrible second…
Sunny X Vigil
April 1, 2015 at 12:13 am
April fools! This one was too ridiculous
Dustin Chimp
April 1, 2015 at 12:13 am
No, it’s true. I am one of the hired nannies. m/
Niltzsche Foukoopmann
April 1, 2015 at 12:12 am
That is why they had an article about human experiments which read oddly lot like one you did. Oh yeah and april april
James Oag
April 1, 2015 at 12:11 am
Har har har
Juan Ibarra Jr.
April 1, 2015 at 12:10 am
in b4 butthurt
Tobaeus Tapetrve
April 1, 2015 at 12:07 am
Hehe, I as expected.
Johan Toresson
April 1, 2015 at 12:07 am
LOL
Ben Paltin
April 1, 2015 at 12:07 am
Holy shit. Hahahahahaha
Florian Reuter
April 1, 2015 at 12:07 am
If you actually bother to read the article, not just the headline, you wouldn’t be asking if it’s an april fools joke…:D
William Richardson
April 1, 2015 at 12:07 am
Hahahaha nice
Serg Iron
April 1, 2015 at 12:06 am
yus
Mike Wilcox
April 1, 2015 at 12:06 am
this made me chuckle
Arjun Mahadevan
April 1, 2015 at 12:06 am
Shit I nearly fell for that
Arj Narayan
April 1, 2015 at 12:05 am
You will need a seamstress. Hire me.
Michael Smith
April 1, 2015 at 12:05 am
LOL
Michelle Swami
April 1, 2015 at 12:04 am
April fools!
Aleksandras Rimdžius
April 1, 2015 at 12:04 am
good one
Joran Monteiro
April 1, 2015 at 12:04 am
April fools?
Grant Gibson
April 1, 2015 at 12:04 am
Guh!
Zain 'Cuff' McMillan
April 1, 2015 at 12:03 am
I hope this is an April fools… fuck vice
Cameron Rutledge Mathis
April 1, 2015 at 12:03 am
so $25hr intern pay?