CONAN/SLOMATICS split lp review

Bow to the riff! Kneel before the altar of the amp and receive your daily bread in the form of pummeling pairing of two of the world’s finest doom/sludge practitioners..This isn’t stoner rock, this is bad trip music. Seriously bad trip music.

I’m not sure at exactly what point in musical history that people decided that tuning a guitar lower than concert pitch was a good idea, or why, but my limited knowledge of the field suggests that it might have been an old blues man somewhere. Nowadays it’s such a taken for granted characteristic in heavy music that we don’t even think about the origins. There was a period there for a while where it seemed like bands were in a race to see who could tune the lowest (for my money, Thou have that covered), and of course the side effect of that is that it’s almost lost all point or power for most bands. Something that used to add an extra layer of weight to bands because of its’ uncommon usage outside of maybe underground thrash/death bands 20 years ago has now become almost compulsory for even mainstream metal bands – witness the Deftones continual use of low tunings on their last few records for an obvious example.

Both Conan and Slomatics tune low for sure, but to be honest even if they didn’t, both bands would still be heavy as fuck. The simple fact is that both bands just have a knack for writing massive, crushing riffs, and their tuning compliments that rather than causes it. You could play this shit on 45 and you would still feel like you’ve been punched in the gut.

Let’s take them individually: Slomatics, Belfast’s best kept secret, turn in a strong showing. Opener “Lose the Five” is all drug flash back vocals, and glacial riffing – it crawls along and sends your skin crawling with it before the more malign “Black Blizzard” opens with a riff that literally makes you feel like you’ve been kicked in the balls if played at the correct volume. This band do not have a bass player. I mention this because quite frankly, if I didn’t tell you that, you wouldn’t know. The trio are masters of tone, and have a guitar sound that’s heavy enough that your bowels would probably sustain permanent damage if they did have a bassist. Final one of their three tracks, “Mont Ventoux” sees them launch the whole thing into outer space- opening with electronic crackling and distant drums, before the acid-damaged vocals heralds the fucking Death Star of guitar riffs.

Conan though really take it up a notch – their “Battle Hammer” lp kinda underwhelmed me when it came out last year but here they up their game. Without wishing to belittle the Herculean majesty of Slomatics in any way shape or form, the Conan side of this record is already in my “most played records” list for this year. Dear god. The main riff to “Retaliator”, the song that opens their side, is absolutely embedded in my skull at this point and there are better known bands the world over who would kill for such a gem of a riff – it starts innocently enough before things drop a couple of keys for some brief vocals , and then it hits. It’s a burst of aural sewage that spews up all over you and drags you into the gutter. Sheer heft. The brief, eerie spoken word and synth passage “Obsidian Sword” provides only a brief respite before the epic – and I really do mean epic here – “Older Than Earth”, a song that alternates between brief moments of seismic riff and tranced out vocals, and analog-synth led instrumental passages that again leave you reeling. I keep putting the needle back to where the synths come in over and over again and just letting the sounds wash over. Total void. Total escape.

This beast of a record has been out for a little while on sexy blue vinyl via the Head of Crom label, but reknowned and esteemed UK cult label Aurora Borealis are about to issue a cd version. Both come wrapped in a beautiful, surreal sleeve by the one and only Tony Roberts, a man whose work you can expect a little more in depth info on here shortly. Definitely one for the top ten list come December.