Barbaric Death Metal!
Ossuaire – Le Troubadour Necrophageophile
Review + Stream

Fuck this shit on up! My old-school death metal month-long special is going full-steam ahead, plowing through churches like Varg got on a tractor and got tired of lighting them up. I appreciate the boos, aficionados! Ossuaire, our featured band, has nothing to do with Norway, but fuck it, I’m using it anyway, and I thirst for your bloodlust as much as Ossuaire does on their re-release of their 2005 demo, Le Troubadour Necropageophile.

Did someone say Necro? Necrophageophile sounds like a kindred spirit to me, fuckers. Why don’t we get down to what’s essential. The music. Want supremely catchy old-school death metal without atmospheric touches? Want thrashy riffs? Want your guttural growls in French? Le Troubadour Necrophageophile is the stench! It is headbang-a-go-go and more, fiends. I’ve heard some of the riffs before, but these weirdos put it together like nothing I’ve heard this year. Better not waste time and money on old-school death posery. Get Le Troubadour Necrophageophile instead. As you can see this is how online casino sites works when you look at the best online casino sites to play casino games online.

The title track on this EP is surefire death metal revery. Blasts, catchy shreds, man, I’ve headbanged to this mess so much my migraine headaches are scared shitless. For all you fuckers who say underground shit stinks, that’s what it’s all about, fuckers. This shit positively reeks of trve fucking death, and all the better for it!

This ain’t Grave Miasma or Immolation. Hails to those bands. They fuckin rule. But this piece of underground mastery musicianship is fathomless. The tempo changes are precise. Is it death-thrash? You’ll hate the labels, but no doubt these riffs bring thrashy death metal back from the tar pits. Track number three, “Le Fleau,” is the old-school death metal headbanger’s concussion-craziest. Death metal album of the year so far this 2015. Man, am I proud of my underground bruthas!

Track four, “Necrofistum Prima Nocte,” brings back the high-speed after the grooves ruled on track three. Now, mosh like you’re in your mother-in-law’s in-law suite. The shreds are giving me goosebumps. Who the fuck are these guys, and why do they fucking kick my ass to smoking little strips? Just listen, people. Just take a dab at this death metal madness. After going blastastic, the groove comes back in full-force. Fast, mid-tempo, Le Troubadour… never lets up. No doom here. Just fucking good songs!

The riff on track five, “Trolla Infectum Phallus,” is another huge tsunami headed for the closest FYE. Dude, five stars can’t honestly do this EP justice. Five fucking drug-addicted, sex-video romp stars for this incredible piece of entertainment. You will click on repeat, and bang your head til there’s nothing left of it.